Solutions – By Krishna C. Kalva
We need to communicate with others and ourselves
In a Bonus Focus article for LTEN, I share thoughts on the concept of “finding the teacher within.” A key takeaway in the column is how we can identify and nourish the teacher within, empowering us to become our own guiding force.
What about the language we can develop over time to nourish the teacher within to guide ourselves?
Language by necessity is a form of expression through signs or words that is developed over time through observation, our thought patterns and emotions. It is generally observed that as one develops proficiency with a desired language, the language can be transformed into a personal tool kit to express oneself.
Developing a language helps us express ourselves and nurture relationships, but it’s equally important to choose and articulate our internal thoughts clearly. By being able to internally articulate our ideas and thoughts with clarity, we will be able to develop a skillful relationship with our internal language and the way we communicate within ourselves.
Feedback & Follow-Up
Imagine a work situation where an employee receives critical yet constructive feedback from a co-worker about an ongoing project. While the employee is prepared to discuss the project details and deliverables, they are not prepared to discuss the critical, constructive part of the conversation.
Overall, it’s a good and open conversation where the employee and the co-worker are able to discuss each other’s points of view. And the employee who receives critical feedback acknowledges it and agrees to work on areas that could be improved.
Sometimes, we see that after having provided or received critical feedback there are limited or no follow-up conversations planned to review and clarify any open items from the feedback session. While it is essential to provide time and space for the employee who received feedback to work on the areas of improvement, it is important to remain in contact with the person who provided the feedback. One of the key reasons being, to help the employee reflect and process the feedback without any judgments and find a way to channel their thoughts and emotions in a constructive way.
Spotting Patterns
Channeling thoughts and emotions in a constructive way is possible when we have developed a language to identify and communicate our underlying feelings.
For example, if there are strong feelings like anger or disappointment, it is essential to be aware of the underlying thoughts associated with the feelings. By being aware, we separate ourselves from the thoughts and the associated feelings and reduce their impact on us.
Seeing ourselves as separate from our thoughts can be achieved through careful observation and coaching. Similarly, when we have strong positive feelings like
enthusiasm, admiration and confidence, we can follow the same pattern of trying to be aware of the underlying thoughts.
Through the practice of identifying and developing an internal language of our choice, we give ourselves permission to find the teacher within, allowing the teacher to become the guiding force in our journey. One of the key outcomes of this exercise is the perspective to see things and situations as they are and free us from any preconceived labels or judgments.
Conclusion
Let me take your attention back to the original idea, the language we choose and develop. The language we choose can be developed over time through various channels, such as conversations, reading books or watching videos or experiencing life in general, and can act as a personalized tool kit.
It is possible that sometimes we don’t yet have a language developed to articulate or convey a message to ourselves, and that’s OK. By being able to acknowledge and accept the fact that we don’t yet have a language to internalize the message, we keep perspective about the situation at hand.
By keeping perspective, we shift our focus from the given situation and allow ourselves to ask skillful questions that can lead us into a space of awareness. Through awareness we notice how our perspective changes through our language, which is intrinsically propelled by our questions.
Developing a language and gaining perspective takes time, practice and patience. However, once we understand the potential of our internal language, we start to see things through a new lens of perspective, helping us move forward.
Krishna C. Kalva is program manager for sales leadership excellence in Germany for Siemens Healthineers. Email him at krishnachaitanya.kalva@siemenshealthineers.com or connect through LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/krishna-chaitanya-kalva-a2773123.
